Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Well, now I've popped my blogging cherry...

Current mood: Ambivalent

Ambivalent in the true sense of the word. As in torn in two opposing directions at once. Why is being a grown up so confuddling (yes, I know that's not a word, but I like made up words even better than bona fide ones!)? As per the previous rant, I'm not going to go into the emotional business, but I do think I might bury my head in the sand and come back up when things are a bit more plain-sailing...or more likely suffocate in the process!!

Ok, so words...loving them! Anyone for a game of Scrabble? It's ages since I played...it used to be pretty much a daily thing when I was sharing a flat, but now I fly a bit too solo. I am a girl who owns two Scrabble dictionaries (both exactly the same like...they were both bought as presents...thus confirming my geekdom) and even an inflatable Scrabble board...ace, but impractical, particularly as I don't own a pool or anything! Maybe I could invent some extreme sport involving Scrabble? Like that ironing idiocy (doing it upside down hanging from a helicopter surely still doesn't make ironing fun?). Actually, I bet it's already been done...although partaking would necessitate removing my head from the aforementioned sand and getting off my arse, so I think I may not bother for now!

I do get ever so sidetracked! So, words...I learnt a new one the other day, courtesy of Mr Scott Fitzgerald and his Great Gatsby. That word is 'echolalia', which sounds pretty beautiful to me. Unfortunately it's meaning isn't quite so canny: "meaningless repetition of another person's words as a symptom of psychiatric disorder". Slightly better is the meaning, "repetition of speech by a child learning to talk", but it still doesn't mean anything beautiful enough! Why can't words that sound great or are fun to say (yes, such a geek!) mean nice things? Like the word 'lugubrious'...I always thought that sounded like it should have something to do with water; something nice like being enveloped in warm water, or that splodging sound water makes sometimes. Sadly (no pun intended!) not...although maybe that's just because it sounds a bit like the word 'lagoon'? Other similar, in the sense that they sound lovely but mean rubbish things, words are (in my opinion) hubris and hirsute. Now 'precisely'...that's a good word...I've loved that since I was a kid because it sounds so crisp...and, onomatopoeic is the wrong term, but that kind of shizzle anyway!

As per my previous mutterings, on to rubbish telly...

As I was snoozing the other morning, there was some programme on in the background about a gay teenage prom. Eee, kids these days! All I can say lasses is good luck! Little do they know, at their age, with their as yet undiagnosed mental health problems (it's inevitable in lesbians apparently!), that the odds are seriously not in their favour in terms of being able to find a.n.other who doesn't look like a character from The League of Gentlemen! Other recent viewings have included 'High School the Musical', as shown to me by a grown (and heterosexual!) man who was singing along throughout and wanting to fast forward to the next song! Total balderdash, rivalled only in campness by the new Hollyoaks title sequence!

Talking of teenagers, I had a lovely chat with the gentleman who served me in Sainsbury's yesterday. One of the things I was buying was wine (for the last time I think...being tee-total is absolutely the way forward...I am such a dickhead in drink!) and I was asked "You are over 18 aren't you?". I chose to ignore the note of derision in his voice and pretend to myself that it was a compliment! He then offered me some kind of kids' vouchers (can you actually trade them in for your "very own braaaahn baybee"??), so I joked that I really wasn't old enough to be bearing sprogglings, which lead to a rather amusing conversation about how you only have to be 12 if you live in Blyth (where his girlfriend came from...I did not ask whether she herself was of legal age!). Blogging is about the minutiae of life isn't it? I haven't got that wrong?

I had a dream the other night about my house. In this dream I was really practical and made a list of steps to take to get it sorted. I've realised that it's not really about the tidiness (or lack thereof!) and that the reason I can't be arsed getting it ship-shape tidy-wise is because I'm too ashamed to have people over even when it's tidy because the house itself is in such a state. There's so much that needs doing to it that it overwhelms me and I just don't know where to start (although tidying really might be a plan!). Maybe not such a good buy given my general inertia! Anyway, maybe I shouldn't be reading too much into my dreams at the moment; they are really strange and vivid. That same night I also dreamt about Girls Aloud (sadly I'm not a straight man, so it didn't fulfil any latent fantasies!). I think I was actually a member of Girls Aloud...though hopefully not the ginger one! One of the brunette clone ones fell from a trapeze, to which she wasn't harnessed properly, and broke her leg seriously badly...it was minging! Do you think I should try to get in touch and warn them? ;o)

Well my cinema-going excursion this evening has been cancelled. Poor Benny, he's working such long hours at the moment. And here's me, a total waste of space, spending my days doing really not much at all. It would probably do me good to get back to work, I'm just really not sure I could hack it at the moment, because when you're there you're expected to actually be able to do your job...how unreasonable!

Tomorrow night I am meeting a pal to look on t'internet together for accommodation in Krakow. We're going there at the end of April and I'm really looking forward to it. If anyone has been there and has any tips with regards accommodation/ents/veggie-friendly dining please let me know. Before Krakow I have a few other things to look forward to, mostly in the shape of gigs. There's Camera Obscura at the beginning of April (as mentioned in my previous blog), which Ro's going to come to with me. But before that there's DOLLY! Oh yay! I couldn't be more excited about that! And two days before Dolly I am going to see Faithless...there's nowt like a nice big musical mash-up of styles!

Ok, that's your lot for now folks. Take care all and a tout a l'heure. xxxx

Saturday, February 24, 2007

General stuff and ramblings...welcome!

I'm a bit out of sorts really...my head is done in; though I have decided before I start with this that I am not going to talk about emotional stuff, or too much involving other people, because 'bloggers' often end up sounding like such teenage twunts when they get into that! And, I should imagine, are often rather embarrassed when they read back over it some time later! Started making notes on my phone of the crap I wanted to talk about, but it f*%^ing cut off and I lost the whole thing...about 7 messages worth...guh! Twas all rubbish anyway, but would've saved me having to think further at almost 4am!

Ok, so the first thing was:

1. Haunted Homes - such an ace show! Total clap-trap and I love it! The basic premise is that there are (generally very scruffy and ugly) people who believe their homes to be haunted (ingenious name therefore doncha think?) and they call in this wifey called Mia Dolan and her 'spirit guide' Eric! Lmfao...some ghostly voice called Eric...come on! They sit around the house in the dark pretending that they are hearing noises and suchlike, but of course none of it ever gets recorded on the high-tech equipment they take with them!
You've got some token cynic professor on it too, and I'm with him...although would probably be scared nonetheless, because I am loud but, in fact, quite wimpy! Not in the burgers and hooves and snouts sense...more in a pansy kind of way. For example, I love the idea of playing scary computer games (although, to be fair, I get bored with playing computer games...well, with anything really...ever so quickly!), but as I live on my own I daren't! Tee hee. Like that e-mail I got years and years ago where you're to stare at the screen until you can see the ghost...like a Magic Eye picture, or so it says. So you're staring really intently (incidentally, I've never been able to 'get' a single Magic Eye picture anyway...they all just continue to look like kaleidoscope images to me. My writing, and probably from this point on, my blogging...can tend to get a bit Magic Eye-ish at times too, because I kind of forget to pause for breath and paragraphs and such, much like when I'm talking...hence the initial effort with the bullet points!)...anyway...so you're staring really intently, which is when some fecking ghosty girl rushes from the picture towards the computer screen! Christ! The memory is causing me, even now, to blaspheme! I nearly left a dent in the ceiling when I first saw it, nervous disposition and all!
But back to Haunted Homes...it's reassuringly the same every time (much like Neighbours...well, not really like Neighbours at all, but that's why I love Neighbours, as you can pick it up in seconds even when you haven't seen it in a year and, even when bad things are happening, they are still happening in a jolly cosy way!) and Mia always ends up being able to send the spirit 'back to the other side'...using Latin incantations and stuff...though I'm fairly sure she might as well be reading from the menu for a Chinese restaurant, like those silly tattoos that English people get, which are supposed to say 'love' or whatever, but probably are more likely to say 'Kung Po Chicken' or 'lick my bumhole'. Anyway, I digress...again! Tonight's Haunted Homes was particularly smashing as the ghost was "sinister" and didn't want our Mia to fuck with him! Oh how I laughed! On to number...

2. I went to see my pal Ronan's band last night. Their name is Fickle Brink (I'm so not going to tell the story behind the name!). They are very lovely boys, so give them your support! I actually think they sound best live and, although it's not really my sort of music, they write some corking tunes. Bless those boys...and Ro you big superstar up there on the stage n'all you!
Following the gig (and a bit of roadie-ing...carrying the boys amps and stuff like a geet proppah butch lass!) I ended up in The Eagle...again! Guh! We met some straight lass in the street on the way there (with her brother and his male fiance) and, by the time we got to The Eagle she was holding my hand and telling me how safe I made her feel! Tee hee. This in the space of about 4 minutes...god bless alcohol-aided friendships...I'd be at a loss without them! When we got in there, I met a guy called Sergio, who was a friend of a friend of a friend...he was terribly impressed that I could tell him to 'fuck off' in Italian! My ability to swear in a wide range of languages is something I pride myself on.
3. Music and lyrics...lots of time to be listening at the moment, though I haven't really been making the effort to do my usual bimbling about the net checking out new stuff, and I have a copy of last month's (I think...maybe it's current and I'm all just a bit of a spin in the whole space-time continuum...love that word! Which is odd, because I'm not usually so good at vowels next to each other...Jules will tell you about that from my previous rantings. Think it might be okay if it's repetition of the same vowel though, because 'aardvark' is a great word too!)...last month's Mojo magazine, in which I haven't even finished reading the review section, never mind the articles! SO not like me!
I wanted to put 'Talk To Me of Mendocino' as my MySpace song, but it doesn't seem to be available...shame, because it really is a beautiful song. I have made do with other suitably wittering McGarrigle-ness...and I don't mean that in a bad way. Kate Rusby is, as usual, lovely...and what I am listening to right now. If you get the chance to see her live do so, because she's fab, with great inter-song banter and a good sing-song. Other recent listenings include 'Samson' by Regina Spektor (went to see her last Sunday...very impressed)...but I'm not able to listen to the line "kissed me til the morning light" at the moment without a boo hoo hooing. I think the last thing on the subject of music for the moment is Camera Obscura...they're playing at Newcastle Carling Academy Monday 2nd April and it's eight squid for the pleasure.

4. Next to more random crap on telly that I've been privileged to catch whilst I am off work. I don't normally watch much tv...the box is often on, but more as background noise than anything else, but at the moment (as you will see from this) I am up at all hours and mostly in the house on my own, so...the first is Takeshi's Castle...those crazy Japanese chaps! It's like the obstacle course part of The Krypton Factor only oh so much better! And, by the looks of it, more painful!
Another goodie is 6ixth Sense With Colin Fry...a psychic called Colin...yes!! It's smashing for much the same reason as the aforementioned Haunted Homes is smashing...in the sense (geddit?) that it's just totally ludicrous and the people seem to be even more dumb than the ladies called Shaquafala on Ricki Lake! "I'm seeing a tartan cat...does this mean anything to anyone...do you understand?", says Colin. And there's always some dumb bint in the audience who pipes up about her daughter's boyfriend's mother's school history teacher's great uncle and his dog with the tartan collar! No, dog was not a typo; I haven't forgotten that I said 'cat' the first time...it just really is that tenuous! Thoroughly enjoyable!

Of course, I really should be using this time more productively...e.g. digging my way out of the shit-heap that is my house...hate it hate it hate it, but it's too overwhelming to even start to tackle, so it just keeps on getting worse! Or I could be starting my first novel (but for the lack of ideas to get me started!)...or carrying on that canvas I started months ago and which has just been sitting there gathering dust. Anything rather than just sitting alone in the house day-in day-out, which is what is actually going on!

...An Interlude...tra la la la la...

5. Ok, a book review...of sorts. I recently read 'Middlesex' by Jeffrey Eugenides. Very much enjoyed it...I love a good yarn (no shit Sherlock!). As a precis...it's about a Greek Turkish, or Turkish Greek family (I was having this drama the other day...they are Greek peeps who hail from Turkey), and we follow them through 3 generations. Our protagonist, Calliope, is, in summary, the product of the inbreeding of the two previous generations, only 'she' doesn't find out until puberty that she is, in fact, intersex.
I'm not spoiling anything...this will all be in the 'blurb' on the back, only in more concise form! On a hermaphrodite tip...my mate, who is a proper qualified doctor and everything, was telling me recently that Angela Lansbury is one? Surely shum mishtake? Jessica of Fletcher reknown? Never! Mooching around in Google trying to find out, however, I did find loads of conspiracy theories about Jamie lee Curtis (apologies to those of you who have heard all these rantings before!)...who, so it goes, is either a hermaphrodite herself, or XXY, or a genetic male with an androgen insensitivity. All very interesting stuff...well, not Jamie Lee specifically.
I'm fairly sure I remember my dad telling me he started a PhD in something to do with XXY, or Kleinfelders Syndrome, or something, and it's relation to criminal behaviour. Sounds almost as random as my undergrad thesis on straight/lesbian/bi women, body image and eating disordered behaviour. For which I totally made up the results...and so badly that it didn't prove anything either way anyway! Doh! I really don't miss having to try to understand statistical analysis!

A quick overview of the research in that area while we're here though, just to put your minds at rest (like I actually believe anyone is still reading this!). As an aside...I think I've spent more time on typing this than I ever did on the thesis! Lol...it's now 5.09am...morning folks! Basically, there's no categorical (that is a word, isn't it?) answer...as with most things in the field of psychology; which makes the ability to bullshit a great attribute! Though clearly I did well through sheer hard grind...as if! Anyway...research on all peeps, whether they have a willy or not, tends to suggest that hettie women are the most likely to suffer with an eating disorder, or eating disordered behaviour where it hasn't been actual clinical trials. Gay men are next. Then lesbians. Then straight men (oh, life must be so easy!).
The theory says that this is because males tend to place more import on physical attractiveness and so on, whereas females, when looking for a 'mate', place a greater emphasis on status and personality (I repeat...no shit Sherlock!). So, for heterosexual women and gay men, they are more likely to worry about their appearance than the other groups, as they are interested in attracting boys. Lesbians are a funny lot (Mr Holmes is going to come into this again, isn't he?), because, whilst they are trying to bed the laydeez, they have also been socialised as female in a predominantly heterosexual society and therefore have grown up with all the media crap all around them. And then there's the stuff about lesbian image etc. Yawn...I've had enough of this part of my rant now...it's something I've written some 25,000 words on altogether, so you've got off (relatively) lightly!

6. Back to books for a bit. I'm currently reading 'The Great Gatsby'...well, I've just started it, so couldn't offer any insight yet like. And First magazine...what trash! But why is it in the introductions to books they always give the plot away? I have learnt to read the introduction after I have read the book itself (I can't leave it unread, that would be far too anxiety-producing!)...so why don't they just put it at the end?? I don't want to know who dies before I find out for myself thanks! Just finished Of Mice and Men...terribly upsetting :o( But I enjoyed making a somewhat tardy acquaintance with '1984'. Sounds to me like the proles are alive and well and living in Walker! Can you tell I've really had too much time on my hands?

7. The boredom really is getting too much...I would take up knitting, only I couldn't find the first issue of that 'teach yourself knitting' magazine anywhere! Honestly, I looked! I love being such an unabashed geek! I've been taught to knit three times before in my life...once by my pal next door's mum as a kid, and twice by different gayboys. Typical! But I'm fucked if I remember how to do it. Actually, I think my Auntie Margaret taught me as well, so that totals 4! And when I do do it (do do do do, da da da da...bless Sting...he's so pretty for a Geordie!) I'm so fucking anal and control-freakish about it that the knitting ends up so tight I can't get it off the needles! Maybe decoupage would be better? I do a good line in d├ęcolletage...tee hee.

I only came here to make some notes to return to and flesh out at a later point when I could be arsed...and look what happened! 5.25am and counting...tick tock. What better could one be doing this time on a Saturday morning? Must remember to take those friendly little purple and green capsules (so pretty!) to try to make me sleep tomorrow! They say not to take them with alcohol, so I'm generally fucked in terms of getting into a routine aren't I? My doctor has recorded on the system that I drink 3 units per week...just because I said I don't drink in the house, only out with friends! I had about 7 pints last night and it was a Thursday! Now, young folk out there, do not for one moment think that I am condoning the imbibition of alcohol...I am not proud but, in my defence, it does do me good to get out of the house!

Nearly there...

Ok, that's me done for another 20 minutes or so...I can see how this could get addictive! Still, it means the crack lasts longer! ;o)

And if you've made it to here then...are you mad? And, if you weren't before starting, do you feel a little bit so now? Congratulations, you win!

So "who now will sing me lullabies?"...actually, it's Kathleen Edwards now, no longer Kate Rusby...think I might change it to something a bit more 'bouncy' (in joke alert!). Ah, 'Blue'...bless you Joni! xxxxx

Current Music: Kate Rusby - Hourglass